Food Fights And Potions
by mashfan4life
Summary: A look at life in the Hitachiin mansion and at the mischief our favorite little devils get into at home! Friendship. A twin story! oneshot


**disclaimer:** do not own ouran

Hikaru scowled at his homework.

He'd spent the last 2 hours trying to write his essay but, so far, all his page contained were his name and 2 measly sentences that barely qualified as such. They were supposed to write a comparative analysis between an event from the book and something of their choice.

Kaoru had, of course, finished his essay an hour and a half ago. It may have help that Kaoru hadn't waited until the previous night to read the assigned book, but Kaoru had always been better than Hikaru at this kind of assignment.

Hikaru glared at the nearly blank page in front of him as if it were to blame for his total lack of inspiration. Frustrated, he pushed his notebook to the other end of the desk and threw the hard cover book he was supposed to be writing about across the room.

"Ow!" yelped Kaoru from his seat on the couch as the heavy book collided with his head.

"Sorry," mumbled Hikaru.

Kaoru turned off the TV, picked up the book and walked up to the desk. He placed the book in front of his brother along with the discarded notebook.

"I'm hungry," announced Kaoru, turning to leave the room. "Have fun."

"Yeah, right," huffed Hikaru, rolling his eyes.

Hikaru stared at his lacking essay a little longer, tapped his pencil against his teeth, wrote another sentence and decided to go see what Kaoru was doing.

"Taking another break?" asked Kaoru as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah," answered Hikaru. "What are you doing? Making a potion?" he asked playfully.

"Yes Hikaru, I'm making a potion," replied Kaoru sarcastically. "It's soup."

"Why are you making soup?"

"Because it's fast, it's easy and I'm hungry."

"No, I meant: Why are _**you**_ making soup?"

"Oh! Because the chef is away on vacation," Kaoru answered. "Haven't you noticed mom has been making supper?"

"Oh, that's right," said Hikaru. "Well, if ever you_ do_ make a potion, can it be one that helps me finish my homework?"

"Sure Hikaru," Kaoru answered laughing.

"I'm bored," announced Hikaru after watching his twin for a minute.

"Then go do your homework," Kaoru told him.

"That's boring too."

Hikaru's eyes roamed the kitchen, landing on the blender. He stared at it for a moment before walking to the fridge. He opened it and looked for something suitable. He took out the orange juice and took three steps to reach the blender. Kaoru who was standing near the fridge, watched him curiously.

He poured a good amount of orange juice into the blender. He looked around and ended up adding a banana,some yogurt, a tomato he had roughly cubed and some soda crackers that he had crumbled.

"What are you doing?" asked Kaoru, his eyes questioning the strange ingredient combination.

"I've always wanted to try this," answered Hikaru.

"Try what?" asked Kaoru, his eyebrow rising at Hikaru's mischievous expression.

Hikaru looked purposefully at the lid which was NOT on the blender and then grinned at his twin.

"This," and he pushed the power button.

The contents of the blender flew everywhere as they both knew they would.

Somehow, even though he was farther away from the blender than Hikaru, Kaoru got the worst of it. Soda cracker mush slid off his face and landed on the floor. He just stood there blinking and then he brought his hand up to wipe a chunk of tomato off his cheek.

Suddenly, Kaoru grinned evilly and, in the second that followed, the entire contents of the soup pan, which thankfully weren't very hot yet, were poured over Hikaru's head.

Kaoru stepped back to admire his work, depositing the pan on the ground. Hikaru stood there dripping as he took in what his brother had done.

His eyes narrowed and he looked around to find that several whipped cream pies had conveniently appeared and were lying on the counter. He picked two up and threw them towards Kaoru.

One ended up stuck on the wall and the other landed smack on Kaoru's face. The pie plate fell to the floor with a clatter, leaving behind a whipped cream covered Kaoru.

Kaoru turned to the fridge behind him, yanked the door open and proceed to throw a few dozen eggs at Hikaru. Most of them hit their target, but several also found their way onto the walls and onto the floor, two had even landed into the forgotten soup pan.

Hikaru opened the nearby cupboard, pulled out the first package his hand landed on and launched a mini marshmallow attack at the younger of the twins.

Kaoru quickly grabbed the ketchup bottle and fired a stream of the red substance at Hikaru who pulled out a bottle of maple syrup and reciprocated.

When Kaoru's bottle was empty, he grabbed a handful of caviar out of the gourmet stocked fridge, keeping his arm up in a vain attempt at protecting himself against the maple syrup he was being showered in. He blindly tossed the fish eggs at Hikaru and, upon reaching the victim, they stuck in the ketchup he was covered in.

He then grabbed some paté and a handful of the creme brulée that was sitting temptingly in the fridge. The paté hit Hikaru square in the chest and the creme brulée landed on his face.

"Did you have to throw the creme brulée! I wanted to eat that!" complained Hikaru.

"It's on your face. You can just lick it off," Kaoru pointed out.

Hikaru took that advice while Kaoru looked for more ammo.

"Yum!" exclaimed Hikaru. "Throw the cappuccino frozen yogurt next and aim at my face again!"

And then, his bottle of maple syrup ran out just as Kaoru had found a jar of olives.

"Shit!" said Hikaru. He was now temporarily weaponless.

The jar was quickly opened and the olives were flying so fast that all Hikaru could do was cower behind his hands, putting them up in front off his face to protect himself from the oncoming bombardment of little green fruit.

When the jar was empty, Hikaru quickly grabbed a jar of maraschino cherries, launching his own bombardment of tiny fruit. Several cherries stuck in the whipped cream that was still all over Kaoru's face and in his hair.

As Kaoru aimed a bottle of mustard, Hikaru grabbed a bottle of chocolate sauce. When the bottle of mustard was empty, Hikaru stopped squirting the delicious syrup he was holding for a second.

He took a good look at Kaoru and started laughing hysterically, dropping to the floor and rolling around in the mess they had created. Kaoru cocked his head to the side, confused.

"You ... you look ... like ... a sundae!" Hikaru choked out still laughing.

Kaoru, realizing that he was covered from head to toe in whipped cream, cherries, maple syrup, chocolate sauce and mini marshmallows, dropped to the ground beside his brother, laughing uncontrollably too.

That's when their mother chose to arrive. She took one look at the state her sons and her kitchen were in and...

"What in the world are you two doing?" she shouted.

"Umm...," said Kaoru.

"We were...umm... making... a potion...," explained Hikaru, noticing the soup pan on the ground which had miraculously managed to gather samples from the various foods they'd thrown around.

Kaoru,who had noticed the pan at the same time as Hikaru, picked it up and showed his mother the supposed evidence.

"Why?" she asked skeptically.

"Because... Kaoru was hungry?" tried Hikaru, his answer sounding more like a question.

She looked in the pan and then looked at the son who had been mentioned.

"You were going to eat that?" she asked Kaoru, pointing at the strange looking goo.

"Umm...," he said, looking into the pan as well. "Yes?"

"I don't believe you for a second," she told them. "You two are cleaning this up."

"What?" they asked together. "Why us? Can't the maids do it?"

"Would you two learn anything if the maids did it?"

"Yes!" they chorused.

"What?"

"That...um...maids are good at cleaning?"

"You two are cleaning," she told them sternly. "You need to learn a lesson and it wouldn't be fair to ask the maids to clean a mess that you deliberately made," she said while leaving the kitchen.

"It was kind of an accident," Hikaru tried to justify, failing entirely by his tone alone.

"I guess she's right, it wouldn't be fair," reasoned Kaoru, always the more rational of the two.

"Well, as long as were cleaning," started Hikaru, "I don't see anything wrong with doing this."

While Kaoru was still distracted, he dumped the rest of the contents of his bottle on Kaoru's head.

The next day, two essays stood out from the rest in the pile lying on the teacher's desk. One of them being brilliantly written and insightful. The other containing a witty and well thought out comparison to a sundae.

The end! P

a/n: Let's pretend that this whole story takes place before they met Haruhi because otherwise I'd have to say that hr essay stood out too and it doesn't quite fit in the ending.


End file.
